3 Ways To Transform The Wound: Story, No-Story & Re-Story

In this episode Dr. Sally Adnams Jones and Dr. Jen Peer Rich explore 3 ways to transform our wounds: Story, No-Story and Re-Story.  

Transcript

S1:E14: Transforming the Wound: Through Story, No-story, Re-story

Show Notes, Sept 3rd 2023. 

0:02 Sally suggests watching episodes in order, although each one is stand-alone, as each one builds on the previously featured aspect of transformation. This Episode 14 is about how we transform our core wounds into our gifts, so we can make major contributions to self, family, culture, and evolution itself. As we transform our wounds, we are transforming the entire field of transformation. And the way we do that is through how we deal with our story. Sally then unpacks how our personal story is nested within lineage, culture, nation, and evolution - in other words, history. We are on a trajectory, personally and collectively. Our story includes past (where have we been? What happened to us?); present (How do we drop the story of victimhood and enter the present moment); and future (restoring not only our lives, but also a collective culture that works for everybody). But the paradox is, there is no other moment but the present moment. The body itself is always in the present moment. But it's holding both memory (past), and imagination (future). The body is always present and the mind can align with that or go either to the past, or to the future. That is our gift as a human. How we deal with this cognitively, requires 1) healing the past through therapy, 2) coming into the present moment through meditation, and 3) creativity, imagining and building a new future that works for all of us. The more we train our brain to be present, even with the past and future, we are both ecstatic, and responsible for the future story of mankind. When our core identity is evolution itself, we participate consciously in the meta story. Sally then discusses epochal stories, as well as Joseph Campbell’s ideas of the hero’s journey. 

11:05 Jen agrees that as we transform ourselves, we evolve consciousness. We become perpetuators of progress. We are liberated from our stories. Jen describes how she learned to be present within herself, bringing her wounds into the light of awareness. Few are taught formally how to be present with themselves. Nature, trees and animals can also help with this. We have layers and layers of conditioning, and trauma, that are obscuring our presence. Memories, stories, attachments and triggers prevent us from being fully present. Presence allows us to move into our wounds, psychically, and energetically, through the imaginal realm. And then we heal them directly. Jen then goes through the steps to do this, citing her own story. Her early caretakers gave her negative stories about herself, society, and the education system she lived in. Much of her creative energy went into tending these illusions and festering wounds. Confronting these stories freed her. We have to have self awareness to identify the negative patterns, the old beliefs, and the unresolved issues. Much of our vital life force as a species goes in to tending our old stories that cause us pain. Yet all of us deserve more than a pain base existence. We are not victims. We can work through those stories. 

17:52  Sally says our stories became defunct, no longer true, and we can deconstructed them. Then we have to create a new story. If we don't do that, the old story blocks our transformation. It remains in the unconscious shadow. Bringing the old story to the Light of Consciousness is how we move beyond being a victim. The newish science of psychology has allowed us to recognize that we have a past that we can outgrow. Some of us humans never do that work of letting go, or come fully into the present moment. “Presencing” skills have been around for 3000 years, but psychology, only for 100 years. Both are true, and both are partial, so we need to do both. The more we rewire the brain, we can drop the mental activity at will. Eventually we become a master of ‘where’ our mind is dwelling - in the past (rumination, depression, loss, grief) or in the future (anxiety, fear); or in the present moment, discovering the Still-point in ourselves that is truly ecstatic. But we don't stay on the meditative cushion permanently, or bypass our own lives and gifts. Grounding within our true source anchors us, but and all movement is then generated from that still, quiet, timeless space. 

 23:04 Jen says her mind used to go wherever it wanted. And she followed along with it, and suffered from its machinations. She started adding tools to her toolbox. Creative expression became important to her, and learning to be with herself non judgmentally. Coming back into presence, over and over again, gathering a soul pod of people that she trusted, a collective of animals and birds and plants, trusted sources of guidance and inspiration. Healing doesn't happen in a vacuum, or isolation. We heal together in community, because we are fractally connected with the world. Other tips include healthy boundaries, a standard of expectation of how to be treated, learning to look at one’s core beliefs and challenge them, taking alternative perspectives, self compassion, gentle understanding, positive self talk, and most importantly, loving oneself back into self-regulation. 

 30:12 Sally says when you follow your own story, you can either be stuck in the trauma wound, or begin to flow forward through psychology, spirituality and creativity. She expands on how she healed her own medical trauma wound, through creativity, which was then part of both the healing and discovering the gift. She became an Expressive Arts therapist, helping folks externalize their wound, and say goodbye to it. The three ways of working with ones’ life- 1)story (past), 2)no story (present), and 3)re-storing (future) became evident to her. Some folks have several wounds, with a theme - a lesson that keeps repeating, until its learned. We need to keep fluidly moving and transforming our story, as does evolution. We finally begin to understand that we can co create the new story, that Evolution works through our minds, hands, mouths, voices and bodies. There's a shift in identity, once we understand that we are holonic, and we put our personal little story into the bigger perspective. We then start using our agency to co create a new meta story that works for everybody, not just us. Our little personal stories are true, but partial and relative. And together, there's this movement of consciousness coming into the material world through us. And we start understanding the responsibility of that. The work begins with psychology, deepens with spirituality, and culminates with creativity, the building of a new future that works for us all.

37:41 Jen agrees that when we become conscious and collaborate with the evolutionary impulse of the universe, there is an awesome responsibility to make the world a better place for future generations, to make this planet sustainable for all. To do this, we recreate ourselves. We have creative potential to grow in infinite ways. And there is a real liberation there. We use our voices for good. We free ourselves of our stories. We reimagine who we can possibly be. And we use our gifts for collective growth. Jen describes how she did this. She was run by old unresolved trauma. Once she recognized the power of re imagining herself, she came into a healthy relationship with her body. She has chronic illness, disability, and mobility challenges. She had to learn how to live gracefully with her broken body, even when it's hurting. She had to create a new story. Her mind needed conscious support from the inside out. She had to become a conscious moderator, with her seasonal depression. She had to develop agency, and presence, coupled with skilfulness. She had to reclaim her life. Then she came into a new post traumatic growth era. 

43:14  Sally says we come into this world with really unique DNA. That really, that is just memory of our lineage that lives in our body. And it's our task to allow that to flower. We have to bring that forward, we have to find that gift. And then we have to learn how to express that. So, 1) we can ask ourselves what happened to us? 2) Which parts of us are living in the past? 3) How do we bring those parts forward and heal them? 4) How do we come fully into the present moment, with all our parts operational and united, so they're not driven by compulsive memory, so that they're fresh, and alive, so that they're right here, fully present, without conflict. 5) That means unfolding all the gifts, and then we learn the skills to contribute our unique gifts, to build a future to engage and participate actively in evolution. Our personal story is needed, and our gifts are needed. We have to drop the old stories, of “I'm not good enough”. “I will never be anything”. We have to learn how to heal that old story, then drop it, and start to come forward and show up, fully creative in this moment. The story is always transforming. Our body is transforming. Our little unique personal story is nested in a much bigger story. Then we start to really enliven and show up. We find what we are passionate about, find the gift, heal the wounds, and move forward. Together. Then we return to the village, as an elder, with wisdom, earned through transformation - that is the real “shero’s” or “hero's” story. We move from victimhood, to surviving, to thriving, to contributing.